500 MB Nyheder Direkte fra Internet 11/500 MB nyheder direkte fra internet CD 11.iso/start/progs/text/epdist3.txt

Text File | 1996-02-03 | 43KB | 955 lines

This is the text version of EPDistrib Volume #3.

The HTML version (via the web) can be found at address
http://idibbs.com/excel/ep.htm.  It will be available within a
week after this and the Midi Machine versions are complete.

If you would like to receive the latest Excel Progs news right
to your Internet mailbox (or CompuServe, Prodigy, AOL,..etc),
simply leave a message to "[e-mail]".  Give your
name and the text "SUBSCRIBE EP-NEWS."  You will be added to the
distribution list.  This is free, and Excel Progs will not give
out your e-mail address.

Enjoy this issue of EPDistrib!

{All trademarks are copyrighted by their respective companies.}

Table Of Contents:
Introduction
Win95 TaskBar Tips
Excel Progs files (as of 2/3/96)
Excel Progs Distribution sites (as of 2/3/96)
Mom's Surfing the Net!
How [NOT] to Run a BBS
Index of Past EPDistrib Articles
Excel Progs Coming Attractions
More Taglines!

===
Hello, and welcome to the third issue of EPDistrib, Excel Progs
electronic magazine with articles about our software,
distribution sites, and texts about the shareware and
telecommunications industry.

Excel Progs has undergone plenty of change in the last few
months.  Proposed projects had to be stalled in order to work on
more important issues, and we think youll agree with our
decisions.  Our custom screen savers that we develop with Idaho
Interactive have potential for being great business tools,
educational flashcards, family album displayers, and much more.
Our "EP-News" mailing list of Excel Progs news and information
has expanded, and if you have an Internet e-mail address, wed
love for you to join us by e-mailing "[e-mail]"!
Our web page at (http://idibbs.com/excel/ep.htm) has undergone
much change, and our new Custom Screen Savers web page at
(http://idibbs.com/excel/ saver/custom.htm) is getting a lot of
attention.

In other news, the last few months have brought a great deal of
attention to the growing Internet, especially in the area of the
world-wide-web (which many people, due to the hype, think is the
ONLY part of the Internet).  To help sort the sites you need to
visit from the endless hype, "Mom" is back to review her picks,
which range, in her own words, "from the sublime to the
ridiculous."  We also think youll learn a lot more about one of
your favorite game shows by following Moms mentioned links.

Win95 has come, and after all of the hoopla has blown over, we
find ourselves with a new operating system with a lot of
potential power - but also a lot of confusion.  With so many
"tips and tricks" pages and information files floating around
the Internet, we did not see the need at first to create our
own.  After working on several machines equipped with the new
operating system and hearing the same questions asked over and
over, however, we decided to compile these questions and write
easy-to-read responses.  Be sure to check out the "Tips &
Tricks."

Much more can be found in EPDistrib #3, including the usual list
of Excel Progs files, distribution sites, upcoming events,
another humorous batch of taglines, and more.  We hope you like
the fact that, from now on, the EPDistrib magazine will also be
distributed in text format, and can be found on the Excel Progs
web page as well.

So sit back, relax, listen to the music and enjoy our third
issue of EPDistrib!

Andrew Malek
EPDistrib Editor
[e-mail]

(Cover Photo credits:  Pictures from Excel Progs/Idaho
Interactive Custom Screen Saver Demos.  Photographs taken and
scanned by Bob Cooper.)
===
Win95 Simple Tricks

    With the introduction of Win95, users have found themselves
going "back to the drawing board" when it comes to increasing
productivity.  True, Win95 DOES contain many new features that
can potentially save a countless amount of time when working on
document processing, system maintenance, Internet
travelling,..etc, but we have to relearn our old tricks (and how
they relate to Win95) as well as learning a new batch of tricks!

    There have been several "tips and tricks" columns for Win95
floating around magazines, the Internet,..etc, and I can not
promise that you will find anything new here.  People have
varying levels of expertise regarding computers; some just learn
faster than others and some have more time to experiment than
others.  These tricks presented here are just that - a group of
various tricks to increase Windows productivity.  I am not
merely thinking of things I personally do to save time and
writing about them; rather, this is a compilation of things I am
asked most frequently when analyzing and consulting Win95-based
systems.

    This first article will concentrate on "Taskbar fun."

    Either you have read about the taskbar, or you havent - I will
explain if you have not.  The bar at the bottom (default) of
your desktop is called the taskbar.  Besides containing the
already famous "Start" menu, the taskbar contains icons of every
running Windows program or open folder, allowing you to simply
click on a programs icon and title to switch the running program
to that of your choosing.  The taskbar also can contain various
items on the right-hand side:  the System Agent (if you bought
Plus!), the printer icon if you are printing a document, modem
lights, resource meters,..etc.

1.    Get a clock on the taskbar.

    You can have the current time displayed on the taskbar.
Right-click the taskbar (in an empty spot), select "Properties,"
and click on "Show Clock" to "check" it.  Click "OK" to close
this dialog box.  The time can now be seen on the taskbar in
digital format.

2.    Shrink the "Start" menu icons.

    So now youre probably excited, because you noticed some more
options that can be checked as you ventured through the
properties section to add your clock.  Patience..Ill explain a
few more of them :)

    The "Start" menu is defaulted to display the "Windows" logo
next to large icons of the main subgroups - "Programs,"
"Settings," "Find," and others.  If youd rather not see the logo
every time you click the Start menu, or if youd rather see the
icons small, then follow these steps:  Right-click the taskbar
in an empty spot, select "Properties," and check the option
"Show small icons in Start menu" by clicking it.  Click "OK" to
close the dialog box.

3.    Move the taskbar around the screen.

    The taskbar defaults to the bottom of the screen.  Although
many people may argue that this position is the one most
convenient to them, one of the main points of Win95 is
customization - you have the power to change things!  If you
think the taskbar would be better suited on the top of your
screen or moved over to the left or right-hand side, heres how
to do it.  Click on the taskbar (in the empty space between
where your running programs are shown and the smaller icons next
to your clock) with the left mouse button, and KEEP THE BUTTON
HELD DOWN.  Now, drag your mouse up, left, or right (depending
on where you want the taskbar to be seen).  As you move the
mouse, you should see a hollow rectangle on the top, left, or
right-hand side of the screen (and if you dont, you need to drag
the mouse more toward your desired location).  When you find a
place that you would like to place the taskbar, simply release
the left-mouse button.  Your desktop and currently open windows
will be adjusted, and your taskbar now has a new "home."

4.    Resizing the taskbar

    Especially if you place the taskbar on the left or right-hand
side of the screen, you may notice that there is very little
room for the names of your running applications.  Although some
may prefer only seeing the icons, it may be easier for you to
refer to your programs by their names.  Dont worry - this is an
easy fix.  If you know how to resize normal windows, the same
properties apply for the taskbar.  If you dont, then move your
mouse to the border of the taskbar which you wish to extend.
This will take some practice, but get your pointer to the place
where it changes from your default one (probably an arrow
pointing diagonally in one direction) to an arrow pointing two
opposite directions.  Now, hold the left mouse button down and
keep it held down.  Move the mouse to the direction where you
wish to extend the taskbar.  As you do this, a hollow rectangle
will be seen giving you an estimate of how big the taskbar will
become.  When you find a taskbar size comfortable for you,
release the mouse bar.  The taskbar will grow (or shrink if you
set it up that way), and all of the desktop icons and the
currently running programs will move and resize.  When you have
a lot of programs running, this tip is ESSENTIAL to keep tabs on
everything!  I personally use this trick when accessing the
Internet, as I may at times have enough programs to fill 3 or 4
rows of the taskbar.

5.    Remove the taskbar (temporarily)

    Although the taskbar is handy, if you are the type that usually
only runs a couple of programs (such as word processors or
databases that tend to fill up the whole screen with
information), that line or two of space taken up by the taskbar
could prove REAL handy for displaying more information.  Dont
fret:  you CAN temporarily remove the taskbar, and there are two
ways of doing it:

    1.  Simply resize the taskbar so it can not be seen.

    2.  Have the taskbar automatically "hide" itself when needed.
This can be accomplished by the following steps:  right-click on
the taskbar at an empty space, and select properties.  Then,
click on "Auto-hide" to check it.  Click on "OK" to close the
dialog box, and--voila!  the taskbar is gone, or is it?  Move
your mouse pointer to the border of your screen where the
taskbar used to be, and it will reappear temporarily, allowing
you to select different programs to activate.  Move your mouse
away, and its gone again!  (Note that by pressing and holding
down the CONTROL key while tapping the ESCape key, you can make
the taskbar appear from just about anywhere and go straight to
running other programs, changing the system settings, finding a
file,..etc).

These are just a few tips on the taskbar that you might find
useful.  If youve got any Win95 tips that are just so hot, youve
GOT to share them, then send them to me via
[e-mail].  Just like any other letter to the
editor, if we use your letter or trick in an article, you have a
chance on winning a free Excel Progs product!

Until next time,
Andrew Malek
===
The following is a listing of the Excel Progs file collection as
of 2/3/96.

o       EP Cursors for Win95 Packs 1 & 2

Ten animated and colorful cursors for your Win95 desktop are
included in each of these packages, sporting the trendy "EP"
logo with lightning bolts, psychedelic colors, white-out, snow,
paint splotches, neon lights, and plenty more.

o       Custom Screen Savers

3 new freeware screen savers featuring photographic images, for
Windows 3.1+/95 machines, have been released by the Excel Progs
Shareware Organization and Idaho Interactive (IDI).  Created
using a new engine by EP and tested by IDI, these  screen savers
bring in photographic images using a variety of entertaining
methods.  The current FREEWARE offerings:  "Scenes of Idaho,"
"Spectacular Canadian Rockies," and "Mesa Verde."

o       Midi Machine V2.xx Support Packs

Support packs for Midi Machine, these contain files that will
enhance the fun you get out of the multimedia program as well as
give you ideas to enhance your creativity.

Support Pack 1 deals with Midi Machine V2.xx technical documents
1-15 as of 9/30/95.  Texts include solving setup troubles,
configuring sound on specific machines, undocumented tips,
Win95-Midi Machine information, and more.

o       EPDistrib (Volume 3)

EPDistrib E-Zine Volume 3 Ed.1 for Win3.1+.  Multimedia magazine
with text, graphics, and music; easy to navigate with
button-clicks.  Includes:  "Mom's Surfing the Net," a pick of
some world-wide-web sites; "Win95 Tips" concentrating on
manipulating the toolbar; "How [NOT] to Run A BBS," the start of
a humorous column on how NOT to run successful information
services, and more.  Includes a list of Excel Progs shareware,
distribution sites (includes several bbs's directly accessible
via the Internet as well as other great dial-up boards), and
more.  This requires the application Midi Machine V2.00 (version
2.01 is STRONGLY recommended!) to run the multimedia version,
but text and HTML versions (HTML at
http://idibbs.com/excel/ep.htm) are available.

o       EPDistrib (Volume 2)

EPDistrib E-Zine Volume 2 Ed.1 for Win3.1+.  Multimedia magazine
with text, graphics, music; easy to navigate with button-clicks.
 Includes:  "Mom's Surfing the Net," a pick of some
world-wide-web sites; "Top 10 Passwords," are you using these
for YOUR security?  A list of Excel Progs shareware,
distribution sites (includes several bbs's directly accessible
via the internet as well as other great dial-up boards), and
more.  This requires the application Midi Machine V2.00 (version
2.01 is STRONGLY recommended!) to run.

o       Excel Progs Icon Packs 1 and 2

Excel Progs Icon Packs -- Two groups of 42 *LIMITED-WARE* icons
(FREE! for private use), including Christmas icons, fireworks,
musical notes, program logos, fractals, food, sports, and much
more.  FULL descriptions of each icon included.

o       Midi Machine V2.01

Midi Machine v2.01, a multimedia app. for Win3.1+, is a MID/
WAV/BMP/ICO/TXT//WMF, and audio CD player, as well as a
multi-media demo creator.  It supports album loading and saving,
header midis to offset problematic MIDI codes, shuffle playback,
and more.  A professional multimedia script language is included
which allows the creation of demonstrations utilizing text,
graphics, sound, music, tiled backdrops, and button paging.
Midi Machine V2.01 is EASY to set-up, and features
mouse-sensitive one-line help and right-click detailed help.
Drag&drop files straight from the file manager or other
drag-and-drop supported applications.  Animated icons "dance" to
the multimedia.  A full help engine is also included, and "tips"
appear every time the program is loaded.  Several bug fixes and
improvements over version 2.00 are included.

o    EPDistrib (Volume 1)

EPDistrib is a quarterly electronic magazine in Windows 3.1+
format for shareware users and system administrators alike.
EPDistrib is an entertaining and informative mixture of text,
graphics, and sound, combined in an easily-navigable electronic
magazine.  The EPDistrib magazine contains several regular
articles, including:  "Letters to the Editor," "EP Sites,"
"Taglines!," and "Mythdancer's Shareware Reviews"--informative
reviews of many products in the shareware industry (not just by
Excel Progs!) including detailed software descriptions, right
down to the installation procedures.  The magazine will carry
other articles, all of which are accessible by a table of
contents button window.  EPDistrib requires the Midi Machine
2.00 program to run (an application found on many FTP and
distribution sites), and includes a simple setup program.  Once
installed, a double-click of the magazine's icon runs the
program.

o       Excel-ACFind

EXACFIND - AC/City Search/Copy/Retrieve.  Excel-ACFind is an
extremely easy-to-use application that will allow you to search
its large database for telephone area codes by state, or cities
by area code.  State information is included.  Right-click help
for maximum efficiency.  SETUP program to get you running right
away. Free updates if you register and have an Internet e-mail
address.  From Excel Progs.  Requires VBRUN300.DLL.

o       Midi Machine V2.0 Demo

Multimedia Extravaganza!  Midi Machine V2.00 Demo for Windows
(c) 1995 Andrew Malek/Excel Progs.  See just what the upcoming,
heavily anticipated Midi Machine V2 can do for you with
demonstrations of business, entertainment, and electronic
magazines, as well as a draft of all of the upgrades!  Plenty of
graphics, digitized sound, original music, and informative text
will guide your way through this exciting demonstration.
Extremely easy to set up.  REQUIRES the file VBRUN300.DLL.

o       CaniPrompts Prompt Packs 1 and 2

CaniPrompts Prompt-Packs each contain ten new animated prompts
for the program CANIPROMPTS.

o       Caniprompts

A trumpet player doing a wild dance... a sunrise over a series
of mountains... no, this is NOT another .FLI animation, but what
YOU can have over your boring old DOS prompt with CANIPROMPTS, a
shell over your old DOS prompt giving it new color, visibility,
and life.  Be the talk of the town (or at least the
computer-user community).

o       Midi Machine V1.20 Screenshot

A screenshot in .BMP format of Excel Prog's powerful sound
player/file manager, Midi Machine V1.20.

o       Midi Machine V1.21 (Older version, but still supported)

Midi Machine V1.21 is a .MID/.WAV jukebox/file manager for Win
3.1+ Midi Machine plays songs in many different ways:  random,
shuffle, backwards, continuous, or combinations of the previous.
 Album Load/Save is supported, allowing you to listen to your
favorite sounds all at once.  Auto-play after drag&drop sound
selections from programs such as File Manager is supported.
Icon animations "dance" to the sound of your favorite tunes -
over a dozen are included with support for externals.
Command-line options allow you to run your favorite albums and
play modes at start-up.  There is mouse-sensitive help as well
as an external text documentation file.  Midi Machine V1.21 is a
state-of-the-art .MID/.WAV player and file manager, combining
many features of other such players and adding unique features
such as icon animations "dancing" to the sound.

o       Icon Animations 1-3

30 animated icons for Midi Machine V1.x, this pack contains
animations with a Christmas theme and our "Notes and Staves."

o       Icon Animations 4-6

30 animated icons for Midi Machine V1.x, this pack contains a
wide potpourri of icons, everything from a coffee cup to moving
fractals to fireworks.

o    Icon Animations 7-9

30 animated icons for Midi Machine V1.x, this pack contains
another large selection of icons, everything from a bouncing
soccer ball to a lip sipping a beverage to circles splatting on
the screen.

o       MALEK1.MID (MIDI Song File)

An alternative to the normal classical style.  Auxillary
percussion (timpani, vibes, and bells) start the file in a very
jarring motion, leading to a string and choir introduction and a
temporary calming of the bass.  The bells return along with
short bursts of the timpani. Vibes signal the introduction of a
softer mode, and the piccolo takes a

brief stint as soloist. Once again, auxillary percussion
commences as the string dies down and the sound returns to its
original state.  At last, the timpani beats a few dying notes
and decays.

o       MALEK2.MID (MIDI Song File)

This movement begins with a slight auxiliary percussion base,
with the New Age/Flute and Vibes alternating melody.  The melody
begins to get higher and higher; a peak is reached and the base
lowers.  Soon a running part is established by the
clarinet/flute duet as the piece reflects beginning melodies.
This reflection leads to the first climax as the SoundTrack FX
rumbles in the bottom underneath the string melody.  The Choir
takes the lead as the sound mellows. After its turn at solo, the
flute running part begins again; the song reaches its final
climax and toms are beaten in the background.  The New Age
penetrates the lower voices reaching higher and higher, breaks
free, and decrescendos to the end.

o    MALEK3.MID (MIDI Song File)

This movement begins with a percussion start to the familiar
high-low rhythm found in earlier movements, with strings
formulating texture as choir pads and leads fall into the fray.
The sound of New Age powers in on its high tonalities, while
Aahs provide a lower counter-melody.  Soon multiple
counter-melodies vie each other for the attention and the
percussion drops out.  Bass takes over as the tempo decreases,
but the high melody only relinquishes its power temporarily and
return to the mixture.  A slow pattern travels amongst the
various instruments and morphs into odd chords and a reemergence
of percussion.  Pulses of Soundtrack FX spike as Aahs begin
their measures of running notes as a slow, dark, melody
continues.  Portions of the original melody return to haunt in
the form of the Accordion.  All voices break away, the tempo
speeds, and the original melody takes over with loud orchestral
hits.  The melody experiments with an assortment of keys and the
orchestra relaxes.  Soon all that remains is the percussion and
a low 5ths lead.  Strings bring in a syncopated rhythm which
finds its way to the Choir Aahs.  The old melody will never die,
however; the accordion once again asserts its presence in a
faster version of the original high-low rhythm.  A break for
orchestra hits - and the original bass counter-melody with the
Choir Aahs return, also faster.  The instruments slip away, but
bounce back with a vengeance, with powerful orchestral hits
making its rounds as the bass counter-melody.  When the sound
gets almost too powerful, everything save a few lonely voices
fade..they share a brief chord, and fade themselves to the end.

o       Excel-PWD V1.0

Excel-PWD is a Windows application allowing you to create
difficult passwords "on-the-fly" for usage on bulletin boards,
Internet, or computer services.  You can create passwords of
multiple types, depending on how long you wish the passwords can
be and what characters the host system supports in the password.
 Also included is an E-Text discussing why passwords are so
extremely important in this day and age.

o       STI V1.2 (Studley The Icon)

S.T.I. is described as "Your Personal Desktop Exercise
Motivator."  In plain English, Studley will try to motivate you
to exercise a little more.  While the iconized Studley
performs his healthy regiment of moves, why not join him!  This
program is now *POSTCARDWARE.*, and the current version 1.2
works great under Win95.
===
List of Excel Progs Distribution Sites as of 2/3/96:

#1    Boise, Idaho - [phone]/[phone].  Idaho
Interactive BBS, /EXCEPROG MailLink Home BBS, EP Home BBS!!!
SysOp:  Bob Cooper, Telnet:  idibbs.com

#2    Hyannis, Massachusetts - [phone]/[phone].  CCS
World Internet Service Provider, Major BBS Site,
Shareware,Games.  SysOp:  Joe Cronin, Telnet:  ccsnet.com

#3    Grand Haven, Michigan - [phone].  FireRight
BBS-General Interest; Msgs/ Files/ Doors.Full access 1st call.
SysOp:  Gene Warner

#4    Arlington, Virginia -  [phone].  The Missing Link
BBS (a service of Online Solutions).  SysOp:  Charles Norton III

#5    Reston (Fairfax County), Virginia -
[phone]/[phone].  World Data Network
703.620.8900/301.654.2554, member AOP.  SysOp:  Tony McClenny,
Telnet:  wdn.com

#6    Netherton,Liverpool,Merseyside UK - [phone].
Pyramid BBS-A wealth of shareware with 1200+ *new* programs
monthly.  SysOp:  Kevin Watson

#7    Lewiston, Maine - [phone]/[phone].  The
Kobayashi Alternative BBS, IBM/Windows/Amiga.  IBMOp:  Barry
Grant, Telnet:  tka.com

#8    Holbrook, New York - [phone]/[phone].  Nick's
World BBS - "A BBS For Everyone!"  SysOp:  Nicholas Schiano

#9    Reading, Berkshire UK - [phone] or 615-379.
Digital Sound Power BBS-Multimedia,GUI interface,free
Internet,more.  SysOp:  Sean Rima

#10   Ft. Myers, Florida - [phone]/[phone].  TNT
Online - Your one stop for a DYNAMITE online experience.  SysOp:
 Jay Wigginton, Telnet:  tntonline.com

#11   Kohler, Wisconsin - [phone]/[phone].  The
People BBS,Free BBS,TriBBS Support Board,Files,Games,CDRom,Nets.
 SysOp:  Kevin Gunn

#12   Knoxville, Tennessee - [phone].  The News-Sentinel
KnoxLink; GUI interface, Internet.  SysOps:  Jack Lail, Jonathan
Bell, Telnet:  newsnet.knoxnews.com

#13   Farmington Hills, Michigan - [phone]/[phone].
Near Wild Haven BBS, 1st call access, games, messages, 200+
files!  SysOp:  David Zohrob

#14   Marlton, New Jersey - [phone].  CyberExplorer
On-Line features forums,file libraries,games,& more!  SysOp:
Matthew Fusfield

#15   Greenwood Lake, New York - [phone].  The Lake
BBS--advertisements, files, messages, running WildCat.  SysOp:
Greg Wright

#16   Middlesex, New Jersey - [phone]/[phone].  The
Airport II BBS,in MiddleSex NJ. Wildcat two lines@908-627-0318.
SysOp:  Roger Torre

#17   San Luis OBISPO, California - [phone].  Pacific
Connections,regional online service for Central Coast of CA.
SysOp:  Brandon Jones, Telnet:  paccon.com

#18   Yucca Valley, California - [phone]/[phone].
Electronic Universe BBS/Internet:Internet
Site,Webserver,Shareware.  SysOp:  Tom Kitchell, Telnet:
e-universe.com

#19   Los Altos, California - [phone].  Urbanite
BBS,running Worldgroup,5 gig of online storage.  SysOp:  Ted
Larson, Telnet:  urbanite.com

#20   Mohave Valley, Arizona - [phone],[phone].
Rippers BBS.  Community Information and Entertainment.  Full
Internet.  SysOp:  Larry Drum, Telnet:  bbs.rippers.com

#21   Sebastopol, Victoria Australia -
[phone];[phone].  CyberLink:Files & ftp
lin.cbl.com.au; Chat lin.cbl.com.au:6667 (IRC).  SysOp:  Gary
Smith, Telnet:  lin.cbl.com.au
===
Mom's loose on the net, and no one is safe!  While her views are
not the expressed views of Andrew Malek, Excel Progs, its
workers,..etc, we hope you enjoy this pick of some web sites!
---------------------------------------
    For anyone who has ever wanted to be Martha Stewart (and who
among us has never aspired to such perfection?) there is a
wealth of information about the happy homemaker to be had on the
web.  Although Martha will not have an official web site until
1998, there is hope.  "The Unofficial Martha Stewart Home Page"
at (http://tear.cybercash.com/kerry/martha.html) will answer
many of your questions about her personal life, publications,
appearances, and her many decorating, cooking, and gardening
projects.

    Many links can be found on this page.  Info about Marthas CBS
Christmas special can be found at (http://www.cbs.com/martha/).
The USENET rec.food.cooking FAQ feature some of Marthas fabulous
recipes.  For answers to the most frequently asked questions
about the blond goddess, check out the Martha Stewart Mega-FAQ
Version 2.0, and to find net sources for Marthas videos try
(http://netcenter.com/netcentr/mall/videos/cooking.html) and
(http://www.intellinet.com/~jdutton/cooking.html."  They are all
very "good things."

    Going from the sublime to the ridiculous... I was just
wondering what kind of person actually *likes* Howard Stern?
Why did this man never progress beyond high school locker room
jokes?  Does he feel that it is his personal responsibility to
spread sophomore sexual humor into every entertainment venue?
These questions and more will unfortunately not be answered at
the "Howard Stern FAQ" (http://scifi.maid.com/howard.html).
What will be answered are questions such as which radio stations
carry Howards show, what Howard had to do to stop the Miss
America pageant from blocking publication of his book, and what
perks Howard is asking for in his new contracts.  If you cant
face life without the long-haired one, you can leave comments or
love letters at "[e-mail]" (the maintainer of the
FAQ).  Enjoy, I guess.

    If you know that Alex Trebeks favorite charity is World Vision,
you are probably a big fan of him and his still immensely
popular game show "Jeopardy!"  Just about everything you would
want to know about "Jeopardy!" can be found at
(http://www.spe.sony.com/ Pictures/tv/ jeopardy/jeopardy.html)
{without the spaces}.  Included are how to get tickets for the
taping, how to become a contestant, what other countries have
"Jeopardy!," and very detailed info about all special
tournaments for this season, including the special "Jeopardy!
Olympic Games Tournament," which airs in July, 1996.  Answer:
The number one quiz show - what is "Jeopardy?"

    When was the last time you saw Elvis buying stale do-nuts at a
7-Eleven?  Not recently?  Well, "The First Presbyterian Church
of Elvis the Divine," located at
(http://chelsea.ios.com/~hkarlin1/welcome.html) will inspire
Elvis believers to embrace what founders say will be "the only
religion that will matter in the next millennium!"  This
tongue-in-cheek (I presume) work-in-progress includes recent
Elvis sightings, little known facts about "the King," and the
tenets of his new church.  True believers will want to commit to
memory and follow absolutely "The 31 Commandments of Elvis," the
fixed and unchangeable shopping list of items Elvis and, I
suppose, his followers, were never to be without.  These include
banana pudding (made fresh every night), and Feenamint laxative
gum.  Nuff said.

Thank you very much.  See you later, and if you have any
comments, you can leave any mail to me c/o Excel Progs with the
subject "TO MOM."
===
"How [NOT] to run a BBS"

The following are tips on how...not...to run a Bulletin board or
information system.  When you need ideas of how to improve the
number of callers or increase your popularity with the users,
trust me, you will NOT find them here!  :)  Although these
"ideas" can be humorous, be forewarned that all of these ideas
were taken from actions that we found one or more bulletin
boards doing.

These articles are merely for humor purposes, and are not meant
to "slam" or "put down" any individual or group of bulletin
board systems.  In fact, some of these joke ideas are actually
being used on systems that are quite profitable; they just are
not recommended modes of action for BBS operators.

Excel Progs is still debating on creating a full e-text with all
of our "ideas."  In the meantime, we will be placing snippets of
these texts in this and future issues of EPDistrib #3.  Enjoy!

This section revolves around naming your bulletin board.

----------

    A constant name of a BBS builds a standard user base, creates a
great reputation, helps attract callers,...yeah, right!  Let all
of them stick with just one name, while you do something
completely DIFFERENT and switch the name of your bulletin board
system every month, maybe every week!   Let's face it...no
better way to stand out in front of those 'other' systems is
making it so they have to change their dialing directories every
week.  Every time they change, they remember your board more,
and thus, you will get more calls!

    Many good boards have taken this advice, changing from 'The
UnderSea Cavity' to 'SpaceRunner' to 'Metropolis' to countless
others!  Boards such as these have seen the call rate go from 30
per day to an outstanding 10!

    Your users will love guessing the new "Name of the Week," and
they'll enjoy the experience better if you, the SysOp, changed
your handle every week!  You can change it to go along with the
board title, or go crazy and use something from Greek or Roman
mythology and REALLY drive the users up the wall!  Remember, the
more times your handle and name change, the less people will
bother you with feedback, giving you more time to sit back,
relax, and drink a cool beverage.
----------

    When you first decide to run a BBS, whether it be for money, on
a dare, or just for the heck of it (even if you don't know how
to run your computer), you'll have many hard choices to decide.
What files to put up, games to install (if any), users to
blacklist, and message bases to create are on the top of many
SysOps' lists.  One fact, however, is neglected by many
beginning SysOps.  Hopefully, you won't be one of those
unfortunate operators who lacks true vision and places one of
those quick, 'cutesy' titles.

    One of the most important decisions you can ever make about
your board is the name of the system (it's true!).  The BBS name
should be attractive to all types of users, and what is more
attractive to the kind of crowd that EVERYONE is after than a
rude, crude, profane name?  Sure, some people will try to talk
you out of it, claiming reasons that parents, clergy, and
businessmen won't call, but a name like 'The Suck Eggs BBS' or
'C**p Rocks Board' REALLY stands out from the rest of the
hum-drum names!  And that's what you want your board to
do...stand out!  These types of names get the place running on
the right track, as when users see a board with your shocking
name, they will definitely be willing to call more often.  And
when users call more often, they generate tons of activity and
are sure to tell their friends!  Remember, a great BBS name is
the start to a successful and profitable bulletin board system.
----------

    BBS's have changed quite a bit over the last few years.  The
way it used to be, there were only maybe a dozen different
bulletin board types to choose from.  Today, there are dozens of
different systems, with new types being created every month!
Every system has its strong and weak points, whether it be the
file section, message areas, off-line utility executing, or the
overall "feel" of the board.  The unfortunate side to this great
fact is that very few of them are actually being used!  In many
towns, all of the boards stick with the same few types of
bulletin boards.  They "claim" their decisions are just so they
can stay consistent with the norm, so the users understand the
menu systems better,..etc.  The REAL reason, however, is that
these sysops lack originality, something which you, by reading
these hints, obviously do not lack!  A good board is original,
straying off the beaten path and creating a niche for itself and
the users.

    With all of the different bulletin board programs available,
why stick with just one "tried and tested" type?  There's plenty
to choose from, so try them all!  Choose a different program
every week; the sampling lets you, the sysop, experience the
thrill of running all different types of bbs's.

    I know what you are thinking...setting up all these boards
takes up a lot of time, right?  It does not have to take much
time at all...just pop in a new program, type in your board
name, and everything is set!  Come on, you don't REALLY have to
worry about redoing user information files, they are sure to log
on, love the new changes, and retype in all of their information
time and time again.  Just like the "Name of the Week," the
"System of the Week" proves to be great conversation starters in
the message areas on your BBS and perhaps others in the area!
Plus, if users complain about how your bulletin board operates,
don't fret...you're changing it next week!

    Sub-Tip:  Every time you change BBS types, re-advertise your
board...it is a different system, right?  And who cares if you
advertise BBS A type and you're actually running BBS C type?
Users love variety.
----------

    Running a bulletin board service can be compared to opening
your house for guests.  As with house guests, bulletin board
users enter your house, go through many doors, chat a lot, and
usually start up boring conversations.  Rightfully so, you don't
keep your house doors open to people every hour of the day, as
you must have some time to sleep and/or rid yourself of a
hangover.

    Along the same lines, why should you keep your bulletin board
service open 24 hours a day?  A 24 hour bulletin board entails
quite a bit more work than one only running a few hours a day!
Think of the expenses alone...a phone line dedicated to the
computer, electricity bills rising due to higher computer usage,
wear and tear on the system...it just isn't worth the trouble!

    REAL bulletin board sysops don't bother with the pains of
keeping a board up all of the time.  YOU own the system, it is
YOUR right to tell users when they can or can't call!  Set your
board up only for a few hours at night, or maybe the noon hours,
or why not even change the hours weekly to really throw the
users for a loop?

    Bulletin boards following this advice stay up quite a while,
and are very popular for their up to three months of existence!
That's right, bulletin boards that are only run for a few hours
a day last for quite a long time!  The longer the board runs,
the larger your user base, and thus more activity and possible
profit for you!  So let those so-called "big-boys" spend tons of
money running huge all day bulletin boards...the COOL sysops
only keep their systems running for a few hours a day.
===
This is an index of articles from the past EPDistrib magazines:

Index-EPDistrib Articles #2
--------------------------------------------------------
Introduction to EPDistrib #2

Letters to the Editor - Recommend upgrading to Midi Machine V2.01

Top Ten Passwords - listing of passwords most frequently used on
BBSs and information systems.

EP Files - 10/11/95

About the Songs used in EPDistrib #2

Moms Surfing the Net!

    "50 Greatest Conspiracies of Our Time"
    "NewtWatch"    Atlanta Olympics page
    "I Need my Chocolate"

EP Sites - 10/11/95

Taglines (The 2nd Page)

Coming Attractions

    EPTag
    Midi Machine V2.03
    EP Midi Home Page on the Web

Index-EPDistrib Articles #1
--------------------------------------------------------
Introduction to EPDistrib & EPDistrib #1

Letters to the Editor - Becoming an EP Distribution Site

The Death of TOW BBS

EP Files - 7/24/95

Mythdancer's Reviews:

    Diz Master v2.0
    WinUpD8R (Windows Updater Version 4.1)
    Electronic Postal Window 1.6

EP Sites - 7/31/95

Coming Attractions:

    EPTag
    Midi Machine V2.0 Support Packs
    CaniPrompts Pack 2

Taglines (The 1st Batch)
===

Upcoming Events...

Want to know whats to come for Excel Progs in the coming months?
 We admit our track record regarding predicting the projects
completed and us actually completing the same projects has not
been very good, but here is what we plan on working toward
during the next few months (unless something else throws us off
track -- see below).

------

More Pointers

Excel Progs is currently planning on releasing more of its
popular Win95 mouse pointers.  The previous two batches of ten
pointers each centered on the Excel Progs logo, all displaying
it in differing animated ways.  Future mouse pointers will
concentrate on other subjects, including music, bouncing shapes,
food, and more.  Unless things change (doubtful), all of our
mouse pointers which we release plan on being freeware or
*LIMITED-WARE*.

------

EPTAG

This is beginning to be a running joke, seeing EPTAG in the
"upcoming" section.  Our custom screen savers project
sidetracked us, causing all of the resources to be diverted from
this project toward coding the savers and marketing.  Over the
past couple of days we have improved the coding by speeding up
the duplicate tagline checking, adding more features to make the
program easier to use, and much more.  This second Alpha will be
sent to the betatesting team of which we still could use some
more members!  If you are interesting in testing our future
Win3.1+/95 tagline displayer/manager, simply e-mail
"[e-mail]."

------

OTHER...

Our FTP sites will have 00index.txt files so visitors can more
easily spot the files they wish to download.

More custom screen savers demonstrations are planned for
release, as well as the patched versions of the first two screen
savers.

..and the rest will remain a surprise - unless you <SHAMELESS
PLUG ALERT> subscribe to "EP-News," the mail distribution list
where Excel Progs places ALL new news items on present and
upcoming projects.  This is FREE and open to anyone with an
Internet e-mail address.  Simply e-mail your request to
"[e-mail]" and your message needs only include
your real name and the line "SUBSCRIBE EP-NEWS."
===
Taglines:

(These are copied from the net community.  As such, Excel Progs
is not responsible for the content, but they should all be in
good taste.  These have been checked and should be void of all
copyright restrictions.  If these are copyrighted, please let me
know so they may be removed from this list).

But officer, the sign said "SPEED ZONE"...
Here's a quarter... Buy a clue!
How Come Wrong Numbers Are Never Busy?
I had my head x-rayed today.  Nothing there.
It's just a little bug--easy to fi*-0&#@&sdf8
Objectivity is in the eye of the beholder.
Sure, when OINK FLAP OINK FLAP ... I'll be ...
Talk is cheap, because supply exceeds demand.
I'm more humble than you are!
The Lab Called: Your brain is ready.
====================
A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years.
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it.
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional
I don't know what it is--but it's green.
I have a 'full deck',..I am just a 'slow shuffler'!
I'm in search of myself.  Have you see me anywhere?
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing!
If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
This tagline is new, witty, and stolen <8> times.
Sorry... my mind has a few bad sectors.
====================
It's not a rumor. It's something I heard.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
...would you like me to sing you a song?
Most of our future lies ahead...
Programmers don't get sniffles, they get a CODE.
My Twit Filter just put me on its Twit List!
I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
(A)bort  (R)etry  (S)mack the friggin' thing!
KnockKnock- WhosThere- Recursion- RecursionWho- KnockKnock-
Operator suffering from CRC errors!
====================
Error 216: Tagline out of paper.
Floppy disks too floppy...
To every rule there is an exception, and vice versa.
A couple of tacos short of a combo.
Got any taglines for me to steal? I'm running low.
I Can't Seem To Find Time To Procrastinate.
Make up a language and ask people for directions.
Reality... what a concept!
I'm easy to please, as long as I have my own way!
Gone Chopin - Bach in a fugue.
====================